Why is it, that pop psychology tries to teach us that we, within ourselves, are able to "bounce back" from bad or negative issues we face in our daily, yearly lives, all on our own? If we could , why do we continue to face negative issues in the first place? We'd simply rid ourselves of them. I don't believe we can save ourselves...or others for that matter.
I think of issues that have been tagged "diseases", which in my mind sets people up to be able to remove personal blame/accountability/choices from their personal situation. (A guy that invaded someone's home for a bit of crack money got caught and killed the homeowner. We never say he was a person that decided to murder, we say he was a cocaine addict. The blame moves over to the inanimate drug.) I've had many friends that call themselves "alcoholic", "workaholic", addicted to smoking, over eating etc. and lay blame upon the "action" rather than on their choice to abide in that particular lifestyle. It's quite a comfortable way to avoid accountability I venture to say. " It's not MY fault."
Looking at Porn? Tell someone, move the computer or don't go in the book shop. Don't blame the Porn. Porn, like many "isms" or "addictions" is a Sin, not a disease! Of course, this may not be as broadly brushed as it all sounds, many diseases occur BECAUSE of our choices to sin. Cigarettes don't cause cancer...SMOKING them does! Beer won't rot my liver, soaking it in it will.But what of people or Societies and Governments running to aid or continue to fund "victim's" poor choices? If you are stuck in a drunken rut to the point where you can't work, our Governments will come to your financial/aid aid.You can continue to be a drunk if you like.
You're not a victim of drink. If anything, you've become a victim of Government funded/kickbacked money making businesses.
When I was younger, I CHOSE to drink daily to the point of utter impairment. No one held me accountable, ever. I picked violent fights in and out of the bar and had a reputation of a drunken madman. Zero accountability! The local R.C.M.P. in North Vancouver BC knew me well, charged me never. (Often in cells overnight "for my safety"). Zero accountability. Comments like " it's ok, he's hammered" from friends, would get me off the hook from dealing with many stupid and dangerous or rude situations. Never being held accountable for my lousy actions, many of which were bloody shameful I tell you, gave me license, or so I thought, to carry on.
Pop psyche would tell you that I suffered (other people suffered, really) from alcoholism. I call bullshit! I made a choice.
I CHOSE to drink to excess, ingest drugs and act violently, irrationally and unpredictably. I CHOSE to lie, cheat and steal from anyone, anywhere, anytime. As dad often said, prison may do (them) well. (Another topic altogether really.)
Looking back, I often wonder if being held accountable for my choices and actions would have helped others (and me) out of many undesirable situations.
Proper counseling could do a load of people a load of good, providing the couselor didn't keep you in counseling for years on end, never guiding you into "wellness" thru Jesus. (did you hear my Bible thump?). Perhaps successful counseling might look like this:
"What's up Lance?"
" I'm an obnoxious drunk."
"Why?"
"So I can get away with anything I like. It's a brilliant excuse for my selfish insecurities and affords me access to calm my lusts."
"Stop it. Jesus loves you. What more do you want?"
" I want to feel good all the time."
" That's an irrational expectation and impossible to attain while on this planet."
" Oh."
" Be a man, face the fact that you can't cope, you need someone stronger than you think you are."
"Hmmmmmm?"
If someone had the guts to "call a spade a spade" in my life, I believe things would have been different.
Don't get me wrong, I love life. I regret very little (all is workable in our lives, nothing is EVER wasted in God's economy). I don't "need" your encouragement. Although its nice sometimes I guess.
I'm on a roll here, can't wait for your comments!
I have a Courier I deal with daily. This Courier is horrible at his job. I've actually told him several times over the years, nicely, believe or not. Nothing changed. I called his supervisor and she told me that he responds best to positive affirmation. What a load! He sucks at his job so I'm supposed to somehow affirm him? I told her it may be better to drag him in, tell him about all the complaints they've received from his customers and get him some decent training? Offer the guy a bit of the ol' truth for a change. He'd grow, you'd help him out. She didn't buy it.
You may know I'm a football (soccer) nut. One of the finest football players for France's National team was sent off the pitch near the end of the Final game for the World Cup after being held accountable for a stupid headbutt he gave to an opponent. His opponent "said something negative" and he reacted. Two things I see here: 1) sticks and stones... 2) he was held accountable for his actions. I say well done on the Official's part in all of that! I'm sad the Cup went to Italy, but what you gonna do?
Many people around here refuse to take a stand caring for our resources or planet, they've chosen to believe (lying, profiting) politicians that can't be held responsible because they're rarely held accountable. If the people would take a moment to look around and think, the obvious would be noticed. We're raping the planet and it can't take it much longer. But reducing and recycling costs something. Why put out extra if no-one expects you to? No one cares if you burn all your waste on your farm...tires, shingles,plastics,garbage,dead animals. You won't be punished for spraying your fields with deadly toxins...they're all doing it.
(Side note- Every year, pea fields are desicated around here.The fields are sprayed with poisonous chemicals so the weeds die. This way the farmer can harvest without nuisance weeds.The peas, that were killed too, apparently are only for feed...hmmmm. I don't like the sounds of this practice. To be fair, I'm not a farmer...)
I'm just venting I guess. Working life out. My blog is about stuff I notice. When I notice stuff, I tend to go off and shout it from the rooftops so to speak. Now it's your turn.